i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You're like the curious george of whores
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
