Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I wish i was in the wii world.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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