i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
