Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
