Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
