I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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