if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i think i just lost a toe
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
