Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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