I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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