she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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