What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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