No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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