Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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