I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize