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Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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