he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
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At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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