Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
