i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
