the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
