By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
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There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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