Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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