More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Barsexuality is the new black.
high people should be assigned attendants
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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