Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
