so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
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all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
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He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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