How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
