My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
