You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
