Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
