4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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