singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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