Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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