Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
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