Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My dick has a subreddit
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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