Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's never too late to be topless.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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