i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
