there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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