Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
