Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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