I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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