she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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