just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This is my gift to your gina
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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