i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
