My first STD was from a foam party
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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