We named our party play list daddy issues
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
