P.S. I can't hear my feet
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
