Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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