the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
