See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
