OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
