sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We're too hungover to prance.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
