we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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