You're completely useless in the revolution.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
be right there i have to get my cape
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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