i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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