Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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