Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
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