ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
