Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I can feel your judgement through the phone
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
