I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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