i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
