But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
