dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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