walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Boobs speak an international language.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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